Letters to a Dead Person
by Slytherin Buttercat
Summary: James is dead, and Rose can't stop herself from sending him letters. Why did he leave them?


**QLFC: Write a TRAGIC story about NEXT GEN CHARACTERS**

 **4\. (style) letter!fic**

 **5\. (opening sentence) It had happened again.**

 **10.** **(word) instinct**

 **A/N: This is in no way, shape or form canon compliant (according to the Cursed Child). I am completely ignoring all we know about the characters from the play, and instead making the next-gen characters my own. (because the characters could have been so much more).**

 **Trigger warnings for suicide, mentions of depression, and depressing thoughts.**

 **Description: James is dead, and Rose can't stop herself from sending him letters. Why did he leave them?**

 **Word Count: 1298**

 **Beta'd by the amazing Nasim!**

* * *

 **Letters to a Dead Person**

* * *

 _James,_

 _It has happened again. You've disappeared. But, it's not like the last times. You haven't been gone for an hour; you've been gone for five, and you wouldn't do that. Aunt Ginny looks terrified; she's been pacing around our house for an hour. It was almost like instinct for me to find Albus; we are still in tune with our emotions, despite our disagreements. He let me comfort him, surprisingly, and now he's opposite from me at the kitchen table, staring lifelessly into a mug of hot chocolate. He looks lost without you. Lily isn't her usual self, she's chattering nonstop about useless things._

 _Where are you, James? You're never out this late. You're always back before it's dark. Aunt Ginny never comes to our house in a panic. I only know that you go out for walks sometimes because Scorpius mentioned it._

 _Where_ are _you?_

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _I'm worried now. It's been ten hours. I haven't slept. Aunt Ginny looks dead on her feet, but she's still pacing, talking wildly to Mum about Quidditch and flowers and other nonsense. Lily is slouched next to the fridge, softly snoring. Her red hair is a mess, like a bird's nest, completely different to the soft curls she loves so much. Albus is half asleep on the table, tear tracks on his face. His eyes look exhausted._

 _At some point during the night, Scorpius arrived._

 _I'm not entirely sure why he's here. I would've thought he was here to give Albus some support—but he looks more dismayed than I feel. He looks like he's been through hell and worse, and I don't know why. Why would he care? It's not like you two were ever close… were you?_

 _Wait, why am I saying were? It's like I'm already dooming you to some horrible fate. You're too young. You're the favourite cousin._

 _We'd be lost without you._

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _They've found your body. James, they've found your_ body _._

 _Please tell me this is just some cruel joke. That the Aurors are just going to go "surprise!" and you'll jump out from behind them._

 _You can't be dead. You just_ can't!

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _The Aurors sat us down at the table. They told us what happened. How they found your body on the floor. Surrounded by blood, broken._

 _Scorpius left the room at that point. I heard him throwing up. I felt like doing the same._

 _I still do feel like doing the same. How could you leave us like that? How dare you waste your whole life like that?_

 _What made you want to die in the first place?_

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _Hugo just woke up. He wasn't around for the madness. When we told him what happened, he broke down and started crying._

 _The whole family is now at our house—actually, Uncle Harry isn't. I have no idea where he is, but I'm scared for him. He could be anywhere: drinking at the pub to forget everything; in your room, crying into your pillowcase; he could even be contemplating taking his own life._

 _James, we all loved you. No, we still love you, even though you obviously don't love us. Why would you do_ that _if you did?_

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _Aunt Ginny hasn't stopped crying. Aunt Ginny never cries. Not when she got really hurt in a Quidditch incident. Not even when Grandpa Arthur was in the hospital, on what we thought was his deathbed. But he survived._

 _Not like you. You're dead._

 _You should be alive, arguing with Albus over whether Gryffindor or Slytherin is the best house—it's obviously Hufflepuff, although I'm not worried about that anymore._

 _I miss you so much, James. You've only been gone fifteen hours. I wonder how many of them you were dead for._

 _Mum is calling me. Probably to make me make more hot chocolate. Albus looks like he could do with one. So does Lily._

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _Lily spilt her hot chocolate over herself. Lily is usually the least clumsy out of all of our cousins._

 _Aunt Ginny is cleaning her up in the bathroom. I can hear them both crying together._

 _Uncle Harry still isn't home. Where is he?_

 _I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. Teddy is sitting next to me, talking nonsense to Victoire. She doesn't seem so bothered about this whole ordeal._

 _I always hated her._

 _I have to go now, to find Scorpius. He said he was going into the garden a moment ago. I need to make sure he doesn't do something drastic._

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _Scorpius told me everything. He told me how you two started dating at the beginning of fourth year, how you kept it secret. The only person who knew was your brother, and he wasn't very happy at first, until he realised how much you two loved each other._

 _He told me about how he dumped you because you were depressed. He feels so bad. I mean it—Scorpius couldn't stop crying into his striped scarf (the one which is of the colours of the house you hate so much). I don't even know why he was wearing a scarf at the end of summer, but he claimed that it smelt like you._

 _Scorpius is nothing like his normal self. He's too nice to me. He used to hate Hufflepuffs—he's told me that many times. You've done this to him, James. You've ruined him._

 _Rose._

* * *

 _James,_

 _It's been a day since your death. Uncle Harry came back, his eyes a raw red. We're all at your home, and I snuck into your room when no one was looking._

 _Your bed is exactly like it normally is. I can imagine you in here with me if I try hard enough. I miss you._

 _On your desk there's an envelope with my name on it. I don't want to open it. I'm afraid of what it might contain._

 _Lianne came over last night, apologising for leaving you. She was heartbroken. It's funny how your view of someone can change just by one small incident._

 _I miss you, James. Why did you have to die?_

 _I'll read the letter now. It might contain answers. And it might make me feel more like me._

 _Rose._

 _P.S. You should have come to me for help, James. You were my favourite cousin._

* * *

 _Rose,_

 _If you get this that means I've finally succeeded. I know it hurts, but you'll get over my death eventually. You have more cousins—Mum has more children._

 _I'm not sure what they would have told you about my death. Maybe you know already, I'm not sure. I just couldn't deal with life anymore, it was too much stress and too many complications. I know this sounds selfish, Rose, but I was always known for being selfish anyway._

 _During the summer, my best friend died. You all know that; I locked myself in my room until her funeral. Then, my other best friend cut me off. She said she wanted nothing to do with me—it was all my fault Cassia died, I was to blame._

 _I still don't know what I've done wrong._

 _Then Scorpius told me I was too depressed. That we had to split up, only until I was better. He couldn't handle dating a depressed teenager, he said. And that's what I was._

 _That destroyed me. I had no purpose anymore. Scorpius was all I had left, and he disappeared too._

 _You were always my favourite cousin, Rose. Everyone thought it was Fred, but no. It was you. It_ is _you._

 _I hope you don't miss me too much, Rosie. There's no purpose in my life anymore. No point. The more I stay alive, the more the pain plagues my heart and I can't handle it anymore._

 _Tell Scorpius I love him._

 _James._

* * *

 **Not sure if I like this or hate it. O well.**

 **~Buttercat**

* * *

 **September Event: Back to School Teamwork Event: (emotion) miserable, (object) striped scarf**


End file.
